nedin: Blog

Blog for January 29, 2008 - About important stuff and Quán again...

nedin — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 22:42:51 +0000

About important stuff and Quán again...

I have already told you about my friend Yuán. At least to those of you who read my blogs. I had a long discussion with him yesterday. Yuán was disillusioned as always. When we met, he had just finished a meeting with Quán. Meeting Quán always seems to have a very "mellowing" effect on Yuán.

Apparently, Quán had been to a party (as usual). As so many times before, a few girls had tried to make out with him, and as so many times before, the only real problem for Quán was to choose between the girls. Apparently Quán had choosen the younger of the two, a nineteen year old girl, and Yuán didn't take that very well...

Yuán is a thinker. When someone who isn't a thinker (someone very much like Quán) makes certain choices that choice has a tendency to trouble Quán. Since Yuán is a thinker he gets seriously troubled...

Anyway, when I met Yuán yesterday, Quán had choosed youth and beauty over... well I am not exactly sure what, but Yuán had seriously started to question mankind...

What was the point of anything, he asked me. The world is utterly shallow (the world beeing Quán in this particular argument), and noone cares about anything. I tried to argue that some do care, (I mean, at least Quán cared for the young hot girl, although I obviously didn't say that to Yuán), but I had to admit that Quán was pretty convincing in his argumentation.

Now many hours later, I can´t seem to shake off Yuáns arguments. Even though I was too drunk to remember most of his rantings, I still think that he might have been right.

Take this blog for example. It will be forgotten a few minutes after it has been written, read by only a few, commented by even less people, and the only one who will truly care about it is probably me. And I will probably care about it for a few not so noble reasons...

Then again... This particular blog is not so much to care about, there are alot more to care about. Things that aren't quasi-intellectual, like the environment, world peace and stuff like that.

I guess I have to tell Yuán that there is probably hope left in the world, that we probably are just a bit bad at showing that we care, but that we do care, about important stuff, and that we shouldn't care about unimportant stuff like when our friends make out with teenagers or write pointless blogs. Yes, if we ignore that and concentrate on what is important, things will be ok...

Enough of this... I have alot of unimportant things to do...

Blog for August 21, 2007

nedin — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 11:09:29 +0000

Quán and Yuán
I have two friends, ok, I have more than two friends, but this is the story about two of them. This beeing a story, I must name them. I don't want to reveal their true identities (some of you might now them even if I don't give them their real names). Let's call the first of them "The Immortal man of wishful thinking" (wouldn't it be cool if I could write that in chinese? I think that would fit very nicely to this story, like "Quán rén kě wàng jué"), and let's call the other friend "The Shy Poet of a 1000 missed opportunities" (Xiū sè shī rén duō yīn yuán). Since that is a little too long to write I will just call them Quán and Yuán.

The funny thing is, that they have met the same girl, and they are both getting feelins for her... (Although Quán would probably never admit it). Now thay are both competing over her. Quán claims that he has the best chance to win her over, since he is very confident, tall, good looking (at least he believes that) and a hero in bed and so on. Yuán is a bit taken aback by Quáns forwardness and he is not the boasting kind of guy and he doesn't know how to respond to the threat Quán poses. Yuán likes to write, and think about life, and he is happy about the small things in life, while Quán enjoy "la dolce vita", and occasionally brags about his lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, you could easyly think that Quán is a not very well liked (beeing so much larger than life) but he knows how to take people most of the time. And you might also think that Yuán is a boring dreaming looser, but once you get to know him, you will find him not only nice to talk to, but you will find small things about him that would probably attract you (if you are attracted by guys that is), and you will suddenly feel the urge to drown in his eyes (So I have heard, from some mutual female friends of us), and listen to his dreams.

And now, they have both approached me, because they want to know how they should proceed in their quests of getting the girls attention. They have asked me several things. If they should change anything about themselves, or if they should stay true to themselves (something I would presume is the right thing to do) and many other things I will not get into detail on.

I think it wouldn't be fair of me just to help one of them, since they are both close friends to me, so I think I just stick to my first advise. Be honest, stay true to yourself and hopefully she will like you for who you are. I guess that would mean that Quán has the better chance, since he is the master of first impressions (beeing resonably good looking, while Yuán maybe would have won in the long run, beeing a man of depth), and you are usually judged instantly based on looks(?). Although... With this girl I don't know though. She is the kind of girl I would say Yuán stands the better chance with.

Who knows... Maybe they will both have her, whether as friend or lover. You know, sometimes miracles happens and you get more than you bargained for...

Blog for July 14, 2007

nedin — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 22:22:03 +0000

I think we all do it. Make up scenarios in our heads of what we want to happen, or what we should have said in response to something and so on. I mean, they have even done a Seinfeld episode on the subject. You know, when George gets taunted at work and comes up with the perfect response in the car on his way home? I do it all the time. Don't you? If you dont, I pity you. You are probably a unimaginative fcuker. A boring son of a bitch... Or are you just a perfect fcuker than comes up with brilliant replies off the cuffs in any given situation? Well, sometimes I do that too. But often enough, I have to settle with replying in my mind... But as I hinted, it is not just brilliant replys that gets played in my mind, it is scenarios and wishful thinking. (And not only the kind of wishful thinking where that beautiful girl ask me to follow her home and do funky stuff in her bedroom kind of scenarios, but other scenarios...)

Take for example last night...

I was coming home from an evening eating with a few friends when I stepped out of the subway, and I heared a gang of kids in their twenties kicking on a building site outside the subway station. You know, this cool gang of kids doing cool stuff like kicking fences? Beeing very impressive? Demanding respect of their environment?

The following scenario played in my head:

Me steeping out of subway. Me stepping out of subway station. Me beeing spotted by Gang. Me staring disapprovingly at Gang. Me beeing approached by Gang lead by Gang Leader. Gang Leader asking me who the fuck I am. Me saying something icy in reply. Gang Leader backed up by gang educating me about how cool he and his Gang is kicking fences and all. Me educating Gang Leader in a Clint Eastwoody manner that kicking fences isn't cool at all, borderlining to very-stupid-you-should-comb-your-hair-and-get-a-job. Gang Leader deciding that I should be taught my proper place (which would be bleeding on the street licking his shoes). Me beating the crap out of them (in self defence of course) since I am a UFC, Pride, K1 or you name it mean fcuking killer machine (thank you very much), after having said a few stone cold one liners that scares the mother crapping shit out of them (a bit to late since they already had put me in self defence mode). And that was that...

I play these scenarios all the time... And often enough they are on the same subject. Stupid Gang of young men wants the world to show them respect, and therefore they scare everyone in their environment, stealing, beating, raping and so on, until they meet the wrong guy. Who shows them the error of their ways. Violently. (Because that is the coolest way to do it in you mind, showing that I am in fact almost as immature as they are, in my mind...)

But seriously. How hard can it be? How can we fail so miserably that we can't teach every kid (young man, or woman) that respect is something you earn? And you earn it not by beeing feared, but by beeing nice (or at least civil) to everyone. When I was a kid no kid talked about respect, or wanting to be respected. We just wanted to have fun. Preferably with our friends. What has changed?

Blog for July 9, 2007

nedin — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 09:14:23 +0000

A friend of mine held a barbecue party this weekend. Sweden, summer pretty boys and pretty girls. Well... It was Sweden, and summer i.e it was pouring with rain, and it wasn't really pretty boys and girls there, rather handsome men and beautiful women in their thirties but... close enough... Anyway, it was a very good party, beer, champagne, drinks, chicken, potato sallad and so on. Later we went inside and drank some more and started to dance. We had planned to leave the apartment later but we stayed. Four men and seven girls. Lot's of fun and love.

I remember turning to one of my best friends saying "This must be heaven on earth for 99.99999999% of earths population..." He could do nothing but agree.

Fuck... I didn't even mind that my vacation had just started and the weather was fcuking me from behind...

Unfortunately I have no pictures of the event to share, so I can do nothing but tell you what I have just told you and confirm that, yes...

I am a lucky bastard...

Blog for June 18, 2007

nedin — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 22:05:51 +0000

I held a party with a couple of childhood friends last friday. We had envited our closest friends and colleagues, their boyfriends and girlfriends. About 110 people showed up. It's funny beeing a host to that many people. Not funny, funny, just strange. You invite all this people and you don't have the time to talk to them... I few words here, and a few words there... And it doesn't really matter, you are still having a great time (once the party is started and everybody seems to enjoy themselfs and whatever), but it is still funny... And suddenly I start to wonder... Is the world really that shallow, or is it supposed to be that way?

Maybe that is the true measure of friendship? If you don't need to talk to have a great time, maybe that's when you are true friends? And that's how you really know your true friends?

That's why you feel the need to fill the air with "meaningless" phrases when you meet new people. It's because you really don't know them, so you don't feel comfortable to be with them in silence? Then again... If you don't speak to new people you meet there is no point meeting new people is there?

It's always hard meeting new people. You want to put your best leg forward, and you try to be a cool guy, and sometimes you meet people that weighs every word you say, and sometimes you meet people that just get tired if you say something remotly intelligent...

You get labeled because of your profession, hairstyle, clothes and what not...

Maybe it's easyer to just try to be yourself, that way you don't have to remember who you are to every person you meet, every shallow aquaintance...

But that's the hardest thing of all to do, to be yourself... Because... Who are you?

I mean... Reading what I have just written I could even fool myself, I would almost think that I am a deep guy. But I know I am not. I am the most shallow guy there is... I value beauty over intelligence, I value...

Fcuk...This blog totally defeat it's purpose... Since I am shallow, I wan't to be percieved as a cool guy. But obviously, you are not supposed to write that. Because if you write that you want to be a cool guy, if you write the word "cool", you are probably not. Writing meaningful material (or any material) and beeing a cool guy is mutually exclusive. Most cool guys probably don't even know what "mutually exclusive" means. Or is that just another stereotype? Probably...

Fuck it... I don't care. I am old enough not to have to care... I have a solid "friendbase", to whom I don't need to pretend... Friends I can't fool. Friends I don't need to talk to... Friends who know almost as much of myself as I do, and sometimes even more than I know...

Fuck... I think I am a lucky bastard...

Blog for April 22, 2007

nedin — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 07:56:53 +0000

I think the time has come for another bitter post from me here After work this friday, I took a few drinks at Cafe Opera (a nightclub in Stockholm) with a couple of friends. I was in a good mood so I took the opportunity to talk to a few girls, and I did reasonably well... And then came the question, the dreaded question... - What do you do for a living? Hmmm... I thought... I don't work as a child molester, I don't kill old ladies and I don't steal from beggars, so there should be no real danger in giving a honest answer? But having some experience from the same question before, I decided to play it safe... - I am an architect. (An honest answer, but only a part of the truth). I went from beeing an interesting guy, to beeing a very interesting guy... And beeing a little bit drunk, I blew it... - I am a solution architect.

I could see the doubt filling her eyes, like in - A solution architect? You sleep with corpses?

- No, a solution architect, I "architect" computer software, decide...

Suddenly no interest at all... In my head I could hear her turning to her friend explaining - I thought he was a cool guy, but it turned out he was a fucking geek. Did you know that computer guys rape babies on their spare time?

Well... I have done this mistake for the last time... I thought it had become ok to work with computers, I guess it has become better, but we are not there yet. Next time I am going to stick to the architect part... Everybody lies...

Blog for April 19, 2007

nedin — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 10:32:26 +0000

I took some pictures last weekend. The weather was great (for beeing April, Stockholm Sweden), and I am happy I took the pictures because today, the weather sucks, and at least I have some pictures to remember last weekend...

Blog for April 11, 2007

nedin — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 15:43:27 +0000

I visited Rome last year and I have to say that I just loved it. So many things to see... It is actually quite strange, I have been to many places but nothing seems to be better than home. But Rome comes close. Ok, to most people most cities can't compete with Rome... I mean, Rome is kind of the center of modern civilization and with it's architecture and atmosphere Rome is very different from most cities. But still, Stockholm is my home, and Stockholm is also a very beautiful city. Maybe I need to put some nice pictures of Stockholm here... Yes, I think I have to do that...

But first there is Rome...

Blog for April 6, 2007

nedin — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 21:12:49 +0000

Hmmm... I seem to spend more and more time on trig... Why, I ask myself. I think I have to come up with a good answer to that question. The best I have at the moment is because of all the "nice" people here... I'll be back when I have a better (and more honest answer)

Blog for April 6, 2007

nedin — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 06:41:21 +0000

Blog for April 3, 2007

nedin — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 07:01:33 +0000

Hmmm... What's worth blogging about? To blog or not to blog... I uploaded some pictures a few days ago, pictures from a vacation I had a few weeks ago with some of my friends. We had a really good time skiing, arguing and drinking. I hope we get the chance to do that again some day. Speaking about friends... A very good looking girl asked me too be friends here on trig recently. I was flattered ofcourse (she was after all, very good looking), and beeing a guy I immediately started thinking (hoping?) that she wanted to be more than friends... I guess it's something about male nature. But beeing a realist (sometimes anyway, I am usually very optimistic) I come to the conclusion that she only wanted a trig. Am I supposed to feel used ?

Well I think I have to ask her...

My first blogging, February 13, 2007

nedin — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 19:11:29 +0000

Ok... I have finally joined trig today. Could be fun. I don't really expect many visits to this blog, but maybe if I fill it with lots of relevant content someone vill notice and start reading. I think I will treat this as my diary for the moment. Ok... What have I been doing today?

I woke up, took a shower, ate a few sandwiches, went to work. Nothing interesting happened at work today, I prepared a visit to Norway on Thursday, attended lots of other not so relevant meetings, supported my coworkers with some of their problems. Pretty ordinary day. Lunch at Tjabba Thai. Very good food, try it if you ever visit Stockholm...

Well... At least I have Thursday to look forward to. Always nice to do not so standard things..

I guess that's all for now...